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Gallo Introduces Blue-Collar Wines

2009 April 1
by Eric Hwang

Contact: Susan Hemsley




MODESTO, California (April 1, 2009) – E. & J. Gallio Winery (Gallio) today announced the release of new wine brands aimed at blue-collar working Americans to compete with beverages typically consumed by this demographic including beer and liquor.

From the company that brought you Thunderbird, Boone’s Farm, Night Train Express and Ripple, comes wines elevated beyond mere vagrancy and intoxication and made for working class American’s increasingly discerning palette. Priced from $2 to $5, these wines will be available nationally at WalMart, Sam’s Club and 7-Eleven.

cuvee-nascarCuvée NASCAR – With this sparkling wine, you don’t need to be Jeff Gordon to party like a race car driver. With complex aromas of gasoline, burnt rubber and flavors of toast and malt, you’ll forget you’re drinking a wine. And whether or not you’re a winner, it makes a great champagne shower for your pit party. Available in 750ml bottles or 1.5 liter bottles for those infield barbecues.
chateau-parcChâteau Parc de Caravane – offers cloyingly sweet yet complex fruit flavors with notes of gunpowder, wet hunting dog and chewin’ tobacco. Smooth and easy drinking right out of and right from the bottle; perfect after a long day of hunting raccoons or working under the hood of the truck. A convenient screw top cap means no corkscrew to fiddle with and it’s available in single 750ml. plastic bottles, “Poker Night” 4-packs, and “Binge Weekend” 4-liter boxes.
el-blottoEl Blotto Estate – Inspired by neighborhoods of Spanish Harlem and bottled exclusively by Puerto Rican immigrants, El Blotto tastes ruthless and muscular with hints of blood-wet stiletto and leather jacket combined with sensuous hot virgin cherry flavors, this wine will get your pollita ready to give up the goodies. Available in 750ml or chula-sized 375ml bottles.
About E.&J. Gallio Winery
Established in 1933 in Modesto, California, E. & J. Gallio Winery has become the world’s foremost winery in the art of grape growing and winemaking and in the distribution and marketing of wines worldwide. With six wineries strategically located in various parts of California and access to grapes from vineyards in all of the premier grape-growing areas of California, Gallio produces wines in every category, to suit every taste. Gallio imports wines from eight of the major wine growing countries in the world. Some of the brands in Gallio’s Budget wine portfolio include Thunderbird, Boone’s Farm, Night Train Express, and Carlo Rosssi. This release is a spoof for entertainment purposes only and does not represent the actual products of the E. & J. Gallo Winery. Names have been changed to cover my ass so don’t write and tell me I misspelled the name. That was intentional.

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For more information on this and other news see the Dregs Report

Copyright © 2009, Eric Hwang and BricksOfWine. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eric Hwang and BricksOfWine with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

5 Responses leave one →
  1. Carolyn permalink
    April 8, 2009

    What…does this mean I can’t buy Thunderbird or Ripple anymore? 🙂

  2. Mary Zolinski permalink
    April 26, 2009

    Very nice information. Thanks for the time put into the blog you wrote.

  3. miki purk permalink
    March 5, 2010

    Country Quencher? I believe it was spelled with a KW. This brand appears to be dead. Any chance this brand will resurface? I have an employee ( friend) whom will be retiring soon. Sometime within the last 10 years I purchased a few bottles for him when he could no longer find it. Perhaps they were the last? If it will not be returning, what would be the closest match?
    Best regards,
    I always enjoyed the apple, Miki

  4. Eric Hwang permalink*
    March 8, 2010

    I’m not sure exactly where to begin. First of all, this was a April Fools post so it’s not real. The fact that I even had to say that should be enough. Second, I don’t work for Gallo and have no idea what wines they continue to carry nor do I know what would be a good replacement. Lastly, I would direct you to the correct place, but if you only buy wine once every 10 years, I’m not really sure if I’d be doing them a favor.

    In any case, thanks for visiting and good luck with your search.

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